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How do I stay motivated?
“I want to build better habits like exercising and eating right. Every time I start a diet, I have a hard time keeping it up. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. How do I stay motivated?”
Motivation is not necessarily the key to building successful habits. Sometimes we have motivation and other times we don’t.
One common misconception about motivation is that it comes before starting a new behavior, not after. However, research shows that motivation increases as a result of the dopamine reward effect that comes from completing a challenging task.
In other words, motivation increases and is reinforced after behavior.
There are several factors that can help build new habits:
Consistency: Think practice, not perfection.
Scheduling: Plan and prepare to help make a habit part of your routine.
Accountability: Look to a friend, coach, or mentor for support.
Flexibility: Avoid rigid, all-or-nothing thinking.
Self-compassion: Do your best, and remember to be kind to yourself when you don’t meet your goal.
The main thing is that you keep going and do your best each day. Make it as easy for yourself as possible by simplifying your goals to attainable levels. Get support to help hold you accountable and learn to practice kindness and patience towards yourself.
Also, remember that building new habits takes time. Plan for relapses and know that things will not always be perfect.
How can I let myself express anger when we live in a world that celebrates emotional repression?
“For most of my life, if it came up, I would say, ‘I don’t get angry’ and I really believed that. But after doing some inner work, I’m realizing my anger has been repressed under so many layers of conditioning. Whenever I repressed my anger or rage, I was met with celebrations of ‘Wow, you are so mature—you handled that so well.’ And so it further conditioned me to equate repressing those emotions with praise, and ultimately love. How can I give myself space to express my anger when we live in a world where repressing emotions are celebrated?”
If we grow up in an environment where unsafe expressions of anger are all we know, we learn that anger is only bad and that there is no way to have a safe and healthy expression of it. So we learn to fear and avoid it altogether.
Anger, however, is a beautiful emotion on the spectrum of human emotions. We feel it most when we feel the need to exert power over our situation. Anger exists to mobilize and protect us. If all you ever observed was anger and rage destroying, then it would be difficult to see it in its native form as protection.
It’s not an easy emotion: Most of us have never been taught to stand powerfully within our anger.
When we project anger outwards, we yell, we fight, we blame, and we cause destruction to the world around us. If we repress it, anger festers into subtle resentments and can manifest in other ways—for example, passive aggressive tendencies and physical ailments. Neither of these expressions of anger allow us to stand in our power to create the change we ultimately need.
By learning to honor anger instead of pushing it away or avoiding it, we stand powerfully within it. Here are some examples of how we can let anger manifest without destruction: through dance, movement, lifting heavy objects, cries, and screams.
Holding ourselves accountable and finding safe expressions can allow us to transmute the energy of our emotions and deepen the power within us to create solutions rather than destroy and cause harm.
Get clear on what we are trying to protect. In having a regular mindful practice with intentional daily actions, you’re able to control your reactions and buffer rage with wisdom from your higher Self.
Is ayahuasca and DMT therapy right for me?
“Can you suggest reliable information about ayahuasca and DMT therapy? I’m considering getting treatment in Costa Rica and Mexico because of legality issues.”
Psychedelics (psilocybin, ketamine, MDMA, LSD, ayahuasca/DMT, cannabis) have long been used for their medicinal properties—in fact, for centuries. In recent years, they’ve become increasingly popular in the West for the treatment of psychological conditions like depression, PTSD, OCD, and addictions.
So far, only the states of Oregon and Colorado have legalized some psychedelics for therapeutic use, but several other areas have passed decriminalization measures toward potential legalization:
California: Oakland, Santa Cruz
Massachusetts: Cambridge, Northampton, Somerville
Michigan: Ann Arbor
Washington, D.C.
Washington: Seattle
Only ketamine is FDA-approved.
One of the active ingredients in ayahuasca is DMT, a psychedelic compound found in certain plants and trace amounts in the human body. DMT is considered a Schedule I drug and is therefore illegal for anything outside research.
A recent study from the Netherlands showed ayahuasca’s physical benefits: higher energy, greater physical relaxation, better pain management, improved GI health, halted substance use, and increased internal awareness. Psychologically, 98.7% of participants reported greater happiness, optimism, self-acceptance, confidence, empathy, and feeling more peaceful and calm. It also shows low risk of abuse or dependence.
If you're interested in exploring psychedelics outside of participating in a clinical trial or the U.S., I recommend you to seek out and prepare with a trained shaman/guide. There are different ceremonies which administer according to their own traditions, e.g., Shipibo, Santo Daime, etc.
“Set and setting” are extremely important for safety and benefit, so take time to research reliable facilitators. Don’t rush this process, and be sure to ask questions. Note that ayahuasca is not compatible with psychiatric medication and conditions, so consult with your doctor first.
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