Ask Dr. Mini: Workplace Stress and Overcoming Bad Habits

Got questions about relationships, work stress, or anything in between? Submit your question to Dr. Mini here or on Instagram.

How do I know if I should quit my job?

“I’ve been at my job for a few years now and it’s been great in many ways. It’s a reputable company, pays well, and I love my coworkers. But this year, I feel taken advantage of by my employer. I’ve been positioned with overwhelming expectations and demands that leave me feeling unfulfilled and drained. I was told I may be up for a promotion soon but I’m honestly at my limit and don’t know how I’ll survive. How do I know if I should quit my good job?”

Deciding whether to quit a “good” job can be tough and there’s a lot to consider before making such a big decision. We spend a lot of our lives at work, so it’s important that you’re spending time at a place that’s aligned with your values. Everyone has different needs, so start by checking in with some signs that might indicate if it’s truly time for a change.

• Constant stress and burnout: If your job consistently causes you high levels of stress and anxiety, it can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Stress in the workplace, especially if it’s chronic, can lead to psychological and physical problems.

• Lack of job satisfaction: If you’re no longer finding your work fulfilling or meaningful, it might be time to explore new opportunities. Having purpose and passion is key to true happiness and well-being and impacts other important areas of our life—relationships, hobbies, health, self-appraisal, etc. If you’re not satisfied or happy, you’re not going to be healthy.

• Lack of growth or advancement: If you feel stagnant in your role and don’t see opportunities for career growth, it might be time to move on. Keeping a growth mindset requires us to be in spaces that allow us to flourish.

• Toxic work environment: A hostile or negative work environment can make it difficult to be productive and happy. Negative workplace conditions induce stress and trauma in more ways than we may think.

• Ethical concerns: If you’re uncomfortable with your company’s practices or values, it’s important to consider your long-term alignment. Working somewhere that doesn’t share our values only makes us feel worse and can impact self-worth in a negative way. 

• Job security: If your job is at risk due to economic conditions or company instability, stay informed and protect yourself from unexpected changes. It’s OK to peruse job sites and gather information on roles you’re qualified for just in case things don’t work out.

• Financial stability: Ensure you have a financial safety net in place before quitting, including savings or a new job offer. Don’t just quit without a solid plan.

Remember: Leaving a job is a big decision. It’s important to weigh the pros and cons carefully and consider your long-term goals. If you’re still unsure, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Writing things out and talking it through helps us to understand situations more clearly and make a reasonable evaluation of what to do next.

Why do I freeze when overwhelmed at work?

"My work is really stressful and I can usually power through and get things done. Recently, though, I feel like I’m at a breaking point and procrastinate or just freeze. Why do I freeze when overwhelmed at work?”

Freezing up when overwhelmed is a very common reaction, and it’s actually a natural response from your body. It’s rooted in our primal fight-or-flight response. 

Here’s the science behind it:

When you feel overloaded, your body releases stress hormones (i.e., cortisol and adrenaline). This surge can trigger anxiety and a feeling of being threatened. Your brain, overwhelmed with these signals, may shut down temporarily as a protective mechanism, leaving you feeling stuck. 

This freeze response can manifest in a few ways at work:

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

• Feeling mentally blocked and unable to start tasks

• Procrastinating or avoiding responsibilities

The good news is there are ways to manage overwhelm and thaw out of the freeze state. Some strategies:

• Recognize the signs. When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a step back and identify the physical sensations (racing heart, tight muscles) and thoughts (feeling helpless, overwhelmed).

• Take a breath. Deep breathing exercises can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system, the part that promotes relaxation. 

• Break it down. Feeling like you have too much on your plate can be paralyzing. Chunk large tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.

• Prioritize. Focus on the most important tasks first. This will give you a sense of accomplishment and reduce the feeling of being overloaded.

• Communicate. Don’t be afraid to let colleagues or your manager know you’re feeling overwhelmed. They may be able to help delegate tasks or adjust deadlines.

If you find yourself frequently freezing up at work and it’s impacting your productivity or well-being, consider talking to a therapist. They can help you develop coping mechanisms and address any underlying anxiety that might be contributing to your overwhelm.

Do new attempts to overcome a bad habit or addiction improve or reduce the chances of success?

“I have a question—hopefully it makes sense. When overcoming a bad habit or addiction, does each renewed attempt (after a failure) increase or decrease the chances of success? Me and my wife go back and forth about this all the time!”

Each renewed attempt to overcome a bad habit or addiction generally increases the chances of success.

Here’s why:

• Resilience and persistence: Every attempt, even if unsuccessful, builds resilience and persistence. These qualities are crucial for overcoming challenges.

• Learnings from mistakes: Each failure provides valuable insights into triggers, coping mechanisms, and potential pitfalls. This knowledge can be used to refine future strategies.

• Increased motivation: The disappointment of failure can sometimes serve as a powerful motivator, leading to renewed determination to succeed.

• Building self-efficacy: Successful attempts, even small ones, can boost self-efficacy, which is the belief in one’s ability to achieve a goal.

While setbacks are inevitable, it’s important to remember that they are temporary. With persistence and the right support, overcoming a bad habit or addiction is possible.