Extremo Park in Monteverde, Costa Rica, is known for offering the highest bungee jumping spot in Central America. The jump takes place from a red gondola that hovers more than 450 feet above lush vegetation, suspended in mid-air by a small but sturdy network of cables.
Standing on the edge of the platform is as exhilarating as it is terrifying. When you jump—or fall, if you choose to let someone push you—your heart seems to literally stop! The 265-feet drop feels endless when in reality, it takes all of 15 seconds. After a few unexpectedly soft bounces, you’re left dangling upside down, catching your breath in a dizzy haze of excitement and adrenaline.
I know this because I made the jump myself.
Before anyone gets the impression that I’m some kind of adrenaline junkie, let me stop you right there. While I’ve gone ziplining before, I wouldn’t call myself a thrill-seeker. In fact, of all things, I never thought I’d go bungee jumping!
But during a solo trip to Costa Rica in the summer of 2021, I surprised myself by doing exactly that.
This post isn’t meant to brag about my travels or convince you that I’m fearless. I’m writing about this experience because I want to share about how much it terrified me. Yet, in spite of that fear—or maybe because of it—I came away from the experience feeling stronger and more empowered.
This kind of feeling isn’t only for people who are scared of bungee jumping or heights, though. It’s for anyone who’s ever been scared of something and allowed fear to hold them back. Because here’s the reality: As natural as it may be, fear does not have to control us.
On the contrary, when we face our fears, we diminish their power and discover our own strength.
Fear and avoidance
There’s a weird, almost paradoxical thing about fear. The unpleasantness of it often compels us to do whatever it takes to keep the thing we’re scared of far, far away.
In fact, when we’re scared of or anxious about something, the number one strategy we turn to is avoidance. This natural survival reflex is designed to protect us, the “flight” part of the phrase “fight or flight.”
However, avoidance can actually worsen our fear. It exacerbates the stress and anxiety around whatever we’re scared of. As a result, we build up the Scary Thing to become something even more terrifying in our heads, often creating an even more exaggerated stress response of “freeze.”
Ironically, confronting our fears does the opposite. When we face our fears, we take control.
And just to be clear, facing our fears is not white-knuckling through it. Rather, it’s walking toward fear with a sense of agency and control. Telling yourself, “I know I am prepared to handle this so I know I will be OK.”
Fear loses its power because we’re no longer allowing it to run the show. Instead of reinforcing the fear, we create new neural pathways and learn that we are not limited by our trauma or stress.
How my fear of traveling alone led me to bungee jumping
Fun fact: I used to be afraid to travel by myself. I know. Like, what?
But around 2018, I began investing in myself with intention and compassion like I never had before. A recent breakup activated underlying beliefs and unresolved trauma of my arranged marriage to an abusive partner years prior. (As a psychologist who specializes in trauma and stress, it was about time for me to take a deeper dive at this.)
As part of my self-development journey, I became a bit of a retreat junkie and would go away at least one weekend a month to various ashrams, temples, and retreat centers around California and Central America. It was around this time I also came across The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, a book that encourages self love strategies like taking yourself out on a date once a week among other ways to fall in love with yourself. I started going to the movies and restaurants alone—things I once thought were reserved for couples or groups.
That might not sound like a big victory, but it was for me. If I’m being honest, when I saw people dining or watching a movie alone in the past, I used to think, “Who would do that? Why are they by themselves?”
As I started taking myself out on dates, though, my mindset shifted. I realized that doing things on my own was a beautiful way to honor and value myself. This was my time just for me.
Over time, going to the theaters or restaurants by myself evolved into traveling on my own, something I once thought I’d never do. To ease myself in, I signed up for group yoga and meditation retreats in places like Guatemala, Mexico, and Costa Rica. Then after the retreats ended, I’d extend my visit exploring the areas on my own.
Doing things in solitude reminded me that I didn’t need a partner or anyone to encourage me or tell me what I wanted to hear. It also enriched my experiences in an unexpected way. For instance, solo travel meant I could fully immerse myself in my retreats without any external influence. I also often met more people than I would have had I traveled with someone. It didn’t feel lonely at all. Quite the opposite, actually.
In this way, bungee jumping in Costa Rica was actually a milestone in a broader, years-long journey of overcoming fear. I wouldn’t have gotten there without first getting over my initial qualms about traveling on my own.
Being ready is not a feeling. It’s a decision.
I didn’t want to bungee jump when the opportunity first presented itself. In fact, I had first said no.
Let me set the scene: I had just checked into a cute bed and breakfast in Costa Rica’s mountain town of Monteverde, having wrapped up a recent six-day yoga retreat in Dominical. Besides handing over my room key, the front desk gave me a pamphlet listing various excursions guests could sign up for, which included chocolate and coffee tours, ziplining, and horseback riding in the rainforest.
Pen in hand, I went down the list without deliberation and checked off nearly all of them—until I reached the words “bungee jumping” at the end of the list. Gasp.
I remember having a visceral reaction just reading those words. My heart stopped, and I caught my breath. Bungee jumping? Umm, no thank you.
I skipped over that line, leaving it the only one unchecked, and returned the pamphlet to the concierge. But as I headed back to my room, I couldn’t help but replay my reaction. What was that about?
At first, I reasoned to myself that bungee jumping was something that’d be fun to do with a friend. Except that didn’t quite track—after all, that logic completely went against my “strength in doing things by myself” mentality. It felt like an excuse. So, what was stopping me from bungee jumping?
Fear, plain and simple, I realized. Then I sat at the edge of my bed with myself for a moment and considered what to do.
As a psychologist, I examine fear as something to lean toward, not away from. Many of my clients share with me their fears, things like setting boundaries and standing up for themselves. Although bungee jumping was a different kind of fear, it would be hypocritical not to apply to it the same guidance I often give my clients.
I told myself now I had to do it because I was afraid.
So I took a deep breath, walked back to the front desk and told the concierge I wanted to bungee jump. He seemed excited for me. I on the other hand felt like I was going into battle and signed up for a challenge that I had no idea how to feel about. I just knew I had to do it.
It was an opportunity to practice confronting fear, just as I had in the years leading up to this moment by learning to do things on my own.
Face your fears to find resilience
As fast as I signed the bungee jumping waiver, the next morning came.
Standing on top of Extremo Park’s bungee platform, I told myself not to overthink it. I focused with intention so that when my turn to jump came, I wasn’t scared. Instead, I found myself in the calm, meditative mental state known as theta.
As the instructor counted down from three to one, my fear gave me a microsecond to reverse course and turn back. It was like the inner skeptic whispered, “You don’t have to!” But I didn’t dare entertain that thought. Giving myself zero time to change my mind, I jumped, screaming first for the thrill and then quite literally for my life!
Besides a moment of sheer panic, I remember feeling an overwhelming rush of adrenaline as I vastly descended toward the ground. But then something amazing happened.
As the bungee cord caught me and I began to rebound, a wave of incredible freedom and exhilaration swept through me. The fear dissipated, replaced by a powerful sense of accomplishment.
While “fun” isn’t quite the word I’d use to describe the experience, I got so much more from bungee jumping than I expected.
It wasn’t just about the jump itself, but about the mental and emotional journey leading up to it. By confronting my fear, I had tapped into a deep well of inner strength and resilience.
Oftentimes, we create stories for ourselves about what we can or cannot do. For better or worse, we carry underlying beliefs that get reinforced by our thoughts and emotions.
But when we deliberately introduce our bodies to stress, we challenge ourselves. Overcoming the demands of the stressor—the Scary Thing—shows our ability to complete what might have initially seemed like an incomprehensible task.
If there’s anything to take away from my experience, it’s that you can indeed harness control over your thoughts and emotions. And by doing so, you can flip the script of your response and turn fear into excitement.
For anyone contemplating their own leap, whether literal or metaphorical, remember that you are stronger because of your adversities. What’s more, while your initial fear is often the greatest obstacle standing in your way, it's also your biggest advantage. It’s an opportunity to challenge yourself toward the growth you always imagined for yourself. Fear is a great thing when you see it as a chance to be better. Once you take that first step in confronting it, you’ll find a reservoir of strength and resilience waiting to be accessed.
What next?
My mission and purpose in life is to help people expand with purpose and power. As a clinical psychologist, I support clients in developing skills to better manage their relationships with fear, stress, trauma, and anxiety. If you’re interested in learning how to harness power over your emotional health, book an appointment.
As a bikini bodybuilding athlete, I understand the dangers of unhelpful perfectionism that often affect fitness competitors. If you’re interested in fitness and mental health coaching, don’t hesitate to send a message.
For small and large teams, I also offer group workshops, retreats, and trainings on stress management, yoga psychology, and mindfulness. Reach out to schedule one.